my family and they urged me to get help and I agreed and went to a 28-day program. The problem was that I didn’t go there to get help or to stop drinking, I only wanted to make my family happy. I still thought I could control my addiction. It had become more important to me than anything or anyone else and eventually it cost me my marriage. The depression, condemnation, and feelings of being a failure got worse and worse. Eventually I ended up crying out to God for help and I ended up at Dunklin Memorial Camp in 2015. He answered my cry, but I still wasn’t ready to give up my own will. I still thought I could get sober and do it on my own terms, in my own way, so I left Dunklin after 4 months. I was wrong again. I made an even bigger mess of my life and my family. After 20 years of addiction, I realized I didn’t know what it was really like to be “normal”. In November 2020 I had finally had enough of the destruction I was causing, and I cried out to him again. He brought me to the FARM, but this time I was doing it for myself."
"God has shown me more grace and mercy than I ever imagined possible. The fact that I am alive today is amazing itself. He always knew me; I just didn’t know him. My life used to be dominated by depression, anxiety, feelings of being a failure, constant doubt and beating myself up for the things I did and put my family through. I never thought I deserved forgiveness for all the lies, stress and hurt I caused. I didn’t want to forgive myself. He gave me a new heart and completely transformed my mind. He continues healing me every day. Today I walk in forgiveness, love and confidence because I know for a fact that I am His child. He has restored the damaged relationships in my family. I have a more real relationship with my daughters now than I’ve ever had before. Today I’m a good father, son, and brother for the first time in 20 years. Being a part of the ministry here in God’s will is the best decision I have ever made. I am truly blessed to have the opportunities that I do today, and I only have them because of Him." -Nick Land
"My name is Nick Land and I grew up in Panama City, FL. I am 43 years old, and I have two amazing, beautiful daughters. I was raised in a good home with my brother and siter by loving parents that did the best they could. I knew right from wrong, and we were always involved at church. As I got into my teenage years my belief in God all but disappeared. I had my first drink at the age of 15. I was hanging out with some older friends, and I was curious and wanted to fit in. I was a good and responsible student and didn’t see any harm in just having a “good time”. I liked the feeling from the very first time. When I got off on my own, partying and working became more important to me than school. My grades dropped drastically, and I made some very poor and regrettable decisions in my life. I knew at that time I had a problem, but I thought I could quit whenever I wanted. I used my bad decisions as an excuse to drink and to eventually quit school all together. This was the beginning of years of depression and condemnation that would follow. As time went on my problem became apparent to
lifestyle I thought I wanted to be a part in. That gave me the image and reputation I thought I wanted. Through all these things my anxieties, fears of prison, and drinking really tail spun out of control. To ease my fears and paranoia I was drinking all day, every day and began using cocaine and meth to get me through work day to day. My girlfriend at the time had become scared of the man I had become and the things that I was doing, and she chose to get out of the situation herself. It was then that I realized for the first time what I had become and how I pushed and scared away everyone I loved…even my parents and sisters. Once I realized this, I decided I needed to quit drinking and turn back to God. I called my mother that night and told her I was ready to change, I was ready to start fighting in the right direction. That’s when she gave me the number to the FARM. I came to the FARM thinking I was ready to do whatever it took to change my heart and character…but after 8 months I realized I wasn’t ready to fully submit to what God was asking of me and I was dismissed from the program. I went home and got my job back, a house, a truck and almost immediately turned my back on God. I got involved with my old friends again and picked right back up where I left off. After about a year and a half of living in my own will again, full of drinking, drugs, women, paranoia, anxiety and fear of consequences…I had finally had enough. But truly enough this time. So, I called the FARM and they allowed me second chance to truly give my own will up to the Lord."
"This time around has been life changing for me. Surrender is something I was never open to doing but since I have surrendered to the Lord and His will for my life, I have a peace that I’ve never known. My life is full of purpose today, good purpose, which brings me joy and peace…no more anxiety. The Lord has restored my family to me today and they don’t have to worry about me. They know I’m in the Lord’s will today and I’m able to be a good example and role model to my two amazing nephews. The Lord has done so much for me and my family this past year and I’m excited and grateful for the privilege of being in the Lord’s will today."
"My name is Zach Bush. I was born in Canton, OH in 1990. I was brought up in a Christian home and lived a great childhood in Ohio on a big piece of property with plenty of horses and animals. At the age of 10 my dad received a job offer which he accepted in Tampa, FL. I can remember me and my sisters being very excited about the move to a big city and new life in Florida. Before long I was starting school in Tampa and experiencing a bit of a culture shock and finding it difficult to fit in. It was around that time that my home and family life began to present challenges as well. My seemingly perfect family was turned upside down due to infidelity and addiction, leaving my sisters and myself feeling confused and overwhelmed. I chose to deal with my struggles in a destructive and unhealthy way. I began drinking and smoking weed after school and on weekends. I left high school at the beginning of my senior year and got a job loading cargo planes for DHL. Around that time, I met my future wife. At 18 her and I moved into our own apartment in my attempt to escape the family craziness. We eventually got married only for me to push her into divorcing me due to my own infidelities and drinking habit. I then found myself 25 years old living alone with no accountability in my life and dead set on doing anything and everything that I wanted to. It was around this time that I got involved with a group of friends and a